Something to wear for a fart you cannot blame on the dog

Fabric, fit and sizing

Underneath the americano print, the blank itself is straightforward. The base garment is a comfortable cotton blend, light enough for summer and thick enough not to go see-through. Fit is true to size and unisex. Anyone between sizes is usually happier going up rather than down. Clean, flag-adjacent styling that photographs well in daylight.

How it is made and shipped

There is no stockpile of Don T Talk To Me Until I Ve Had My Coffee sitting in a warehouse. Every item is made on demand, so the print is fresh and the stock never goes stale. Orders ship worldwide through TeePublic and carry a 30-day return policy, so a bad guess on size is fixable. Wash it inside out on cold and skip the tumble dryer if you want the print crisp for years.

Where it works

It suits a 4th of July party, a beach day, or a summer barbecue. It earns its place by being the thing you reach for before holding it in on the motorway, or on the way to a neighbourhood block party, rather than something saved for one day a year. Don T Talk To Me Until I Ve Had My Coffee carries across the rest of the range too. The same design is available on hoodies, crewnecks, tank tops, mugs, stickers and phone cases, so it works as a small gift or a large one.

Common questions